I've never been in a long distance relationship before but it's the same as all others, except for the challenges of distance. I never believed you can make any long distance relationship work unless you have a plan - either you and your partner agree for it to be a serious, long term relationship or a short term relationship that is to satisfy yourselves until you move on.
What constitutes a serious long term relationship? The discussion of marriage, common-law or agreeing to date each other for the rest of your lives? What happens when you both agree to be in a serious relationship but the end result is not the same? Do you decide to move on or give each partner a chance to change his or her mind on where you will see each other 5 years from now or 10 years from now.
I believe you should have a plan. That way, you are at rest with your decisions of the future. If I find myself in a long distance relationship, after a couple of years and you know you love each other, there should be a discussion of where you will end up in the relationship.
I'm old school and for me, marriage is my end result. Although I have been married before, I am not going to live in the past and decide on my future based on a bad marriage I had. I married young and I made the wrong choice with the man I was with. I have since grown and developed as a person and realize who I want to be with in my life and what attributes my partner should possess. If I am to grow with this person, learn with this person and invest my time with him, I would like to know that he will be my husband some day.
If that is not the case, I must take a deep breath, weigh my options and move on. There is someone out there for me who feels the same way that I do. If it is not the person I am going out with at the moment, who sees no future with me except for what he wants - with no other alternatives - then I will use the relationship as a learning tool and know I will be happy in the end with another partner.
That is life, whether it is long distance or the "boy" next door. In the end, you need to know you are happy, wanted and loved unconditionally.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
RETURN OF FAVORITE SHOWS
The best thing about September is the return of your favorite shows. It’s like your extended prime time family has returned from summer vacation.
Glee returned on Tuesday nights and I can’t wait to see what is going to happen. It was a shame when the group didn’t win but they are still going to come up on top. It’s good to see Kurt back at the school with the rest of the glee members and it was good to see the kids in New York City.
America’s Next Top Model is returning on Wednesday nights and I don’t care how long the show has been running but I love to see the girls fight it out for the top spot! I’m not much into the drama but I love a peak into the fashion industry and the pictures are always amazing.
Vampire Dairies was crazy last year with Stephan running away with Clause and turning into a bad vampire. It makes his brother look pretty good in the eyes of Elena. I hope Bonnie becomes a super witch and Jeremy can now see the dead? This season is going to be one exciting ride from the next.
I am really glad that Fringe is returning on Friday nights. I wasn’t sure as the season finale seemed to be a final finale but the loveable characters are coming back for another season.
Unfortunately, some shows did not make it back and it’s regrettable but I hope some of the new shows are promising.
Glee returned on Tuesday nights and I can’t wait to see what is going to happen. It was a shame when the group didn’t win but they are still going to come up on top. It’s good to see Kurt back at the school with the rest of the glee members and it was good to see the kids in New York City.
America’s Next Top Model is returning on Wednesday nights and I don’t care how long the show has been running but I love to see the girls fight it out for the top spot! I’m not much into the drama but I love a peak into the fashion industry and the pictures are always amazing.
Vampire Dairies was crazy last year with Stephan running away with Clause and turning into a bad vampire. It makes his brother look pretty good in the eyes of Elena. I hope Bonnie becomes a super witch and Jeremy can now see the dead? This season is going to be one exciting ride from the next.
I am really glad that Fringe is returning on Friday nights. I wasn’t sure as the season finale seemed to be a final finale but the loveable characters are coming back for another season.
Unfortunately, some shows did not make it back and it’s regrettable but I hope some of the new shows are promising.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
LITERATURE FESTIVAL & VOLUNTEERING
I am volunteering for the Word on the Street on Sunday, September 25 at Queen’s Park in Toronto, Ontario from 11am to 6pm. It is the biggest book and magazine festival with over 200,000 visitors. You get to meet authors, people from the publishing industry and get a chance to buy books personally signed by your favorite writers.
My daughter needs to obtain volunteer hours for her to graduate and since we are both a lover of writing and books, I thought this festival would be a great chance for her to earn her hours doing something she loves.
I volunteered to work with the vendors from the publishing industry and my daughter volunteered to work with the festival vendors and authors. This is our first year and we don’t know what to expect but we are excited about being a part of a large literary program in the city. Comfortable shoes, prepared for working outside and a positive and fun attitude is a combination of what we need for the festival.
The Word on the Street is a great way to promote literature because I don’t think people read enough. I have four bookshelves of fiction, non-fiction and magazines and I still think I don’t have enough reading material! I love reading as it propels me to other worlds.
Come join us. For more information, go to
My daughter needs to obtain volunteer hours for her to graduate and since we are both a lover of writing and books, I thought this festival would be a great chance for her to earn her hours doing something she loves.
I volunteered to work with the vendors from the publishing industry and my daughter volunteered to work with the festival vendors and authors. This is our first year and we don’t know what to expect but we are excited about being a part of a large literary program in the city. Comfortable shoes, prepared for working outside and a positive and fun attitude is a combination of what we need for the festival.
The Word on the Street is a great way to promote literature because I don’t think people read enough. I have four bookshelves of fiction, non-fiction and magazines and I still think I don’t have enough reading material! I love reading as it propels me to other worlds.
Come join us. For more information, go to
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
SCHOOL HAS BEGUN
School has started again and I have to say that I enjoyed the summer but it’s good to get back to a routine. My daughter started grade 10 and she was glad to get back to see her friends and find out what her schedule was going to be.
I will again be a part of the school council since I believe in being as close to the school system as possible.. The hardest part is to get other parents involved in the council and make them feel as if they are contributing to the school system.
Last year, the council started great with just over 10 members and then it dwindled down to 5 participants by the end of the year. We have funds we can use for activities but without a full-bodied council to work with, it is difficult to discuss what you can do with the funds. I would like to work on getting an after school homework program to help those students in need of tips on successfully finishing homework and for those students having difficulty in his or her studies.
Also setting up a sports program for those students who just want to participate in a physical activity in which he or she can’t get to the community centre. Our school has two gyms and therefore should not be difficult loaning one out for at least one night a week after school.
Contact your child’s school, see when the first School Council meeting is, and see about participating in your child’s education from within the school system.
I will again be a part of the school council since I believe in being as close to the school system as possible.. The hardest part is to get other parents involved in the council and make them feel as if they are contributing to the school system.
Last year, the council started great with just over 10 members and then it dwindled down to 5 participants by the end of the year. We have funds we can use for activities but without a full-bodied council to work with, it is difficult to discuss what you can do with the funds. I would like to work on getting an after school homework program to help those students in need of tips on successfully finishing homework and for those students having difficulty in his or her studies.
Also setting up a sports program for those students who just want to participate in a physical activity in which he or she can’t get to the community centre. Our school has two gyms and therefore should not be difficult loaning one out for at least one night a week after school.
Contact your child’s school, see when the first School Council meeting is, and see about participating in your child’s education from within the school system.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Signs
As I stood by the stop sign and witnessed a car just keep driving by without even stopping at the stop sign, the son Signs by Five Man Electrical Band popped in my head. How that song was about a frustrated individual who believed that too many signs was getting in the way of living.
Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign
You have to realize that signs are a necessity, especially when humankind isn't as forgiving, understanding and helpful as you have come to believe when you're a child.
And the sign said anybody caught trespassing would be shot on sight
So I jumped on the fence and yelled at the house, Hey! what gives you the right
To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep mother nature in
If God was here, he'd tell you to your face, man you're some kinda sinner
Signs are very important. For that car and many more that I see where the driver ignores the signs, someone can get hurt if the signs are not obeyed. There can't be a police officer at every junction making sure the traffic signs are upheld or the traffic laws are being followed.
Now, hey you Mister! can't you read, you got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat
You can't even watch, no you can't eat, you ain't suppose to be here
Sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside Uh!
When I'm in the passenger's seat of my friend's car, drivers don't indicate to make left or right turns, they don't follow the pedestrian signs and people crossing the streets are cut off from walking to the other side of the road. There doesn't appear to be any respect or consideration for anyone else on the road anymore.
My mother was in a bad accident when I was a child and she's okay, but that propelled her to never drive again. While growing up and witnessing these bad drivers on the road, I am also hesitant to complete my drivers training. It seems as if no one cares about their fellow driver when he or she sits behind the steering wheel. It's all for yourself and what time you're going to get to your destination.
And the sign said everybody welcome, come in, kneel down and pray
But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all, I didn't have a penny to pay,
so I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign
I said thank you Lord for thinking about me, I'm alive and doing fine
Do I want to be among the inconsiderate drivers that could send me to my doom on a dark highway? It's disconcerting, not exciting to be a new driver. Sometimes, it's down right scary.
Signs is an entertaining song and it was written in 1970. I don't think the character in the song realized that no one seems to actually care about signs in this day and age.
(song from www.signslyrics.com)
Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign
You have to realize that signs are a necessity, especially when humankind isn't as forgiving, understanding and helpful as you have come to believe when you're a child.
And the sign said anybody caught trespassing would be shot on sight
So I jumped on the fence and yelled at the house, Hey! what gives you the right
To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep mother nature in
If God was here, he'd tell you to your face, man you're some kinda sinner
Signs are very important. For that car and many more that I see where the driver ignores the signs, someone can get hurt if the signs are not obeyed. There can't be a police officer at every junction making sure the traffic signs are upheld or the traffic laws are being followed.
Now, hey you Mister! can't you read, you got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat
You can't even watch, no you can't eat, you ain't suppose to be here
Sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside Uh!
When I'm in the passenger's seat of my friend's car, drivers don't indicate to make left or right turns, they don't follow the pedestrian signs and people crossing the streets are cut off from walking to the other side of the road. There doesn't appear to be any respect or consideration for anyone else on the road anymore.
My mother was in a bad accident when I was a child and she's okay, but that propelled her to never drive again. While growing up and witnessing these bad drivers on the road, I am also hesitant to complete my drivers training. It seems as if no one cares about their fellow driver when he or she sits behind the steering wheel. It's all for yourself and what time you're going to get to your destination.
And the sign said everybody welcome, come in, kneel down and pray
But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all, I didn't have a penny to pay,
so I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign
I said thank you Lord for thinking about me, I'm alive and doing fine
Do I want to be among the inconsiderate drivers that could send me to my doom on a dark highway? It's disconcerting, not exciting to be a new driver. Sometimes, it's down right scary.
Signs is an entertaining song and it was written in 1970. I don't think the character in the song realized that no one seems to actually care about signs in this day and age.
(song from www.signslyrics.com)
Friday, February 11, 2011
Should You Spill Your Emotions?
It’s funny when it comes to matters of the heart. What “they” didn’t tell you is that when you’re in a relationship, you can’t spill your guts out in the open until the person you are dating is on the same page.
When you hold in your emotions, when you two are together, that is the only thing on your mind when you’re together. When he asks you, “What are you thinking?”, you dare not tell when you know he doesn’t feel the same way as you.
It’s aggravating when you wait until you get to the same point in your emotions, hoping that he will eventually get there. It’s painful when you fear that he may not arrive at the same emotional destination.
So what do you do? How long do you wait? When everything else is going so well, how much time do you set aside before the uncomfortable confrontation takes place?
You don’t want to badger and sound like “other women” because you don’t feel like other women. You think one of the reasons why he likes you so much is that you’re “different”. How much different can you be, though, when you are pining over not know how he truly feels about you and you being too afraid to bring up the subject?
I say to wait until you can feel it in your gut that it is a good time to discuss the matter. When you are at a turning point where you need to know in order for you to move on in the relationship, you will be brave, eloquent and mature when you approach the subject.
When you hold in your emotions, when you two are together, that is the only thing on your mind when you’re together. When he asks you, “What are you thinking?”, you dare not tell when you know he doesn’t feel the same way as you.
It’s aggravating when you wait until you get to the same point in your emotions, hoping that he will eventually get there. It’s painful when you fear that he may not arrive at the same emotional destination.
So what do you do? How long do you wait? When everything else is going so well, how much time do you set aside before the uncomfortable confrontation takes place?
You don’t want to badger and sound like “other women” because you don’t feel like other women. You think one of the reasons why he likes you so much is that you’re “different”. How much different can you be, though, when you are pining over not know how he truly feels about you and you being too afraid to bring up the subject?
I say to wait until you can feel it in your gut that it is a good time to discuss the matter. When you are at a turning point where you need to know in order for you to move on in the relationship, you will be brave, eloquent and mature when you approach the subject.
Friday, February 4, 2011
The Ugly Truth
I was watching The Ugly Truth with Gerard Butler and there was a scene in the movie, near the end in fact, where the two main characters are standing in the hot air balloon and they strike up a conversation about women creating checklists while dating.
I had to laugh because I use a checklist myself but who doesn’t? It’s not really a list with attributes you check off when you find a guy but it’s more like a guideline so you don’t go astray. You don’t think guys have some kind of mental checklist when they are looking for the right woman for them?
The main items on my checklist is at least three main important ones – employment, own residence and a means of transportation. The other points are flexible but the deal breaker is smoking. My ex-husband was a smoker and it was so difficult to live with the smell and the stains.
Besides the worst part is that although you have a checklist, what you didn’t know, is that you fall prey to that attractive, nice guy that bought you dinner, is nice to your friends and family and calls you all the time to see how you are feeling. He doesn’t meet your expectations and you bend a little to accommodate him.
Watch out and justify all his good points and his faults because you don’t want to be stuck. Pull out that dusty checklist and make sure he at least meets your first three important qualities at the top of the list – then go for it.
The ugly truth or not – we all have some idea of who we want to spend the rest of our lives with.
I had to laugh because I use a checklist myself but who doesn’t? It’s not really a list with attributes you check off when you find a guy but it’s more like a guideline so you don’t go astray. You don’t think guys have some kind of mental checklist when they are looking for the right woman for them?
The main items on my checklist is at least three main important ones – employment, own residence and a means of transportation. The other points are flexible but the deal breaker is smoking. My ex-husband was a smoker and it was so difficult to live with the smell and the stains.
Besides the worst part is that although you have a checklist, what you didn’t know, is that you fall prey to that attractive, nice guy that bought you dinner, is nice to your friends and family and calls you all the time to see how you are feeling. He doesn’t meet your expectations and you bend a little to accommodate him.
Watch out and justify all his good points and his faults because you don’t want to be stuck. Pull out that dusty checklist and make sure he at least meets your first three important qualities at the top of the list – then go for it.
The ugly truth or not – we all have some idea of who we want to spend the rest of our lives with.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Good Old Blackberry
The last thing I wanted was to be a part of the Blackberry family but the two phones I was scouting for were unavailable – either there was a waiting list or the phone was discontinued or would be. I ended up telling the representative that if he could give me a red phone, I would be happy with that. Low and behold, he hands me a red blackberry curve. Ugh! Boy, are they overrated.
What “they” didn’t tell you is that you have to add a blackberry service on your existing account so you can actually use the blackberry so I couldn’t just walk away with the package I currently held. I had to pay an extra $15.00/mth to be able to even use the phone.
Well, after sighing and thinking it through, I chose the social networking. At least I could vent to an unknown public about my phone choices, through Twitter or Facebook, even Yahoo messenger or Hotmail.
The saving grace was the choice of applications through the blackberry app world. With apps like facebook, myspace, twitter, linkedin, tumblr, wordpress, messenger yahoo and hotmail, I am able to communicate with people while I am on the go and now I write two blogs on a regular basis.
I didn’t know that I would be going down that road. To go and exchange my phone all because my family and friends started to text me more often so I needed to have a device that would accommodate me. At least I used my blackberry to my benefit!
Now I saw a purple blackberry that caught my eye. It’s my favorite colour but my contract isn’t up yet – oh the wait!!!
What “they” didn’t tell you is that you have to add a blackberry service on your existing account so you can actually use the blackberry so I couldn’t just walk away with the package I currently held. I had to pay an extra $15.00/mth to be able to even use the phone.
Well, after sighing and thinking it through, I chose the social networking. At least I could vent to an unknown public about my phone choices, through Twitter or Facebook, even Yahoo messenger or Hotmail.
The saving grace was the choice of applications through the blackberry app world. With apps like facebook, myspace, twitter, linkedin, tumblr, wordpress, messenger yahoo and hotmail, I am able to communicate with people while I am on the go and now I write two blogs on a regular basis.
I didn’t know that I would be going down that road. To go and exchange my phone all because my family and friends started to text me more often so I needed to have a device that would accommodate me. At least I used my blackberry to my benefit!
Now I saw a purple blackberry that caught my eye. It’s my favorite colour but my contract isn’t up yet – oh the wait!!!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Not An Easy Fix
It’s funny how people try to solve your problems for you by just stating the obvious and then - it’s done.
I complain about taking the bus, but the worst part is the waiting and not so much the traveling from destination to destination, which is bearable. I get answers like “you should get a car.” Problem solved so I should pay attention and listen.
I don’t know much about driving but for someone who takes the bus, its’ not so easy to just “get a car”. What “they” don’t tell you is the cost of the insurance, the cost of gas, the car payments and the maintenance of the vehicle. Then there’s possibly getting into an accident and truth be told, everyone I know has gotten into at least one accident and thank goodness it has not been life threatening.
My transit pass is $26.00 a week and it gets me unlimited travel for 7 days and most buses run until 1am and in the downtown core, the transit runs all night. Also, I get to submit my transit passes, collectively for the month, to my taxes at the end of the year and I am contributing to the survival of Mother Earth.
Sure, you’re limited to some areas and you have to travel with friends or family to get to the outskirts for camping or special events, but I cover the gas and I get to spend some quality time.
I would like to get a car at some point but I have to work out the finances and even then, I’m going to see if it is really worth it. We do have cabs for a reason, after all. I know that in some parts of the city, you don’t even need a car because everything is so close.
I complain about taking the bus, but the worst part is the waiting and not so much the traveling from destination to destination, which is bearable. I get answers like “you should get a car.” Problem solved so I should pay attention and listen.
I don’t know much about driving but for someone who takes the bus, its’ not so easy to just “get a car”. What “they” don’t tell you is the cost of the insurance, the cost of gas, the car payments and the maintenance of the vehicle. Then there’s possibly getting into an accident and truth be told, everyone I know has gotten into at least one accident and thank goodness it has not been life threatening.
My transit pass is $26.00 a week and it gets me unlimited travel for 7 days and most buses run until 1am and in the downtown core, the transit runs all night. Also, I get to submit my transit passes, collectively for the month, to my taxes at the end of the year and I am contributing to the survival of Mother Earth.
Sure, you’re limited to some areas and you have to travel with friends or family to get to the outskirts for camping or special events, but I cover the gas and I get to spend some quality time.
I would like to get a car at some point but I have to work out the finances and even then, I’m going to see if it is really worth it. We do have cabs for a reason, after all. I know that in some parts of the city, you don’t even need a car because everything is so close.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Double check when changing any account
Hello, folks.
Regrettably, you have to double check anything you do when it comes to changing services on an account with any business. Especially with a bank!
At the end of November, I changed my monthly banking fees through the CIBC so obviously at the end of December I called in to check my monthly transactions and found that I was overcharged.
I immediately got on the phone with a banking representative to get it checked. The worst part is that when I changed my service, since I had too many debit transactions and I was trying to cut costs, I was on the phone with this representative for 2o minutes so you would expect that the change would be correct.
When I found out that I was charged a different amount at the end of December, I almost freaked but I kept my calm. At least, if caught right away, the problem could be corrected within a few days at the latest.
The answer wasn't very promising as I was told that even if I go to my own bank machine, the CIBC, the transactions get counted with my monthly transactions.
Well, I was pissed. Not because the transactions counted but when I set up the account with the representative at the end of November, I specifically asked her if the transacations at my own branch count as a debit transaction. She told me specifically that only debit transactions from a store or from another bank, are counted as my monthly transactions.
So here I am, pulling out my blackberry every time I make a transaction to record them to ensure I do not go over 25 transactions. Then at the end of the month, I am proud to see that I only had 18 and then to be told that the CIBC bank transactions count!!!
It makes you want to keep your money in that good old mattress so you don't have to worry about bank charges, transaction amounts and a whole lot of hidden fees and charges that banks love to pile on top of customers who are trying to make a living.
Read through the fine print people and make sure you ask every question in the book because you will get slammed for it. Heck, even if you do ask the right questions, in a few days call who ever you set up or change your account with and make sure it was done properly. Luckily, I received a credit but rightly so. Misrepresentation is a bad thing and I wish I took down the representative's name because she is going around spilling the wrong information and I feel sorry for any customer that talks to her about his or her account.
Keep your eyes and ears open.
Regrettably, you have to double check anything you do when it comes to changing services on an account with any business. Especially with a bank!
At the end of November, I changed my monthly banking fees through the CIBC so obviously at the end of December I called in to check my monthly transactions and found that I was overcharged.
I immediately got on the phone with a banking representative to get it checked. The worst part is that when I changed my service, since I had too many debit transactions and I was trying to cut costs, I was on the phone with this representative for 2o minutes so you would expect that the change would be correct.
When I found out that I was charged a different amount at the end of December, I almost freaked but I kept my calm. At least, if caught right away, the problem could be corrected within a few days at the latest.
The answer wasn't very promising as I was told that even if I go to my own bank machine, the CIBC, the transactions get counted with my monthly transactions.
Well, I was pissed. Not because the transactions counted but when I set up the account with the representative at the end of November, I specifically asked her if the transacations at my own branch count as a debit transaction. She told me specifically that only debit transactions from a store or from another bank, are counted as my monthly transactions.
So here I am, pulling out my blackberry every time I make a transaction to record them to ensure I do not go over 25 transactions. Then at the end of the month, I am proud to see that I only had 18 and then to be told that the CIBC bank transactions count!!!
It makes you want to keep your money in that good old mattress so you don't have to worry about bank charges, transaction amounts and a whole lot of hidden fees and charges that banks love to pile on top of customers who are trying to make a living.
Read through the fine print people and make sure you ask every question in the book because you will get slammed for it. Heck, even if you do ask the right questions, in a few days call who ever you set up or change your account with and make sure it was done properly. Luckily, I received a credit but rightly so. Misrepresentation is a bad thing and I wish I took down the representative's name because she is going around spilling the wrong information and I feel sorry for any customer that talks to her about his or her account.
Keep your eyes and ears open.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Poem by JC
Concealed...In The Fine Print
Love is a masquerade
Possessive and consuming
Out of breath,
Out of mind,
Absorbed by passion
Intoxicated by lust
Thrilled by unification
Overwhelmed by perpetual bliss
....until it comes spiraling down
In a horrid, sickly descent
Unraveling and crumbling
Out of breath,
Out of mind,
Plunged into the abyss of broken hearts
Oblivious to its deconstruction
Unaware of the misdirection
Inflicted by incessant loss
....and then you grow stronger
Adorned with a cloak of apprehension
Cautious and vigilant
Out of breath,
Out of mind,
Wrought from understanding
Softened by time
Empowered with hope
To believe the next one will persevere
Love is a masquerade
Possessive and consuming
Out of breath,
Out of mind,
Absorbed by passion
Intoxicated by lust
Thrilled by unification
Overwhelmed by perpetual bliss
....until it comes spiraling down
In a horrid, sickly descent
Unraveling and crumbling
Out of breath,
Out of mind,
Plunged into the abyss of broken hearts
Oblivious to its deconstruction
Unaware of the misdirection
Inflicted by incessant loss
....and then you grow stronger
Adorned with a cloak of apprehension
Cautious and vigilant
Out of breath,
Out of mind,
Wrought from understanding
Softened by time
Empowered with hope
To believe the next one will persevere
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