I've never been in a long distance relationship before but it's the same as all others, except for the challenges of distance. I never believed you can make any long distance relationship work unless you have a plan - either you and your partner agree for it to be a serious, long term relationship or a short term relationship that is to satisfy yourselves until you move on.
What constitutes a serious long term relationship? The discussion of marriage, common-law or agreeing to date each other for the rest of your lives? What happens when you both agree to be in a serious relationship but the end result is not the same? Do you decide to move on or give each partner a chance to change his or her mind on where you will see each other 5 years from now or 10 years from now.
I believe you should have a plan. That way, you are at rest with your decisions of the future. If I find myself in a long distance relationship, after a couple of years and you know you love each other, there should be a discussion of where you will end up in the relationship.
I'm old school and for me, marriage is my end result. Although I have been married before, I am not going to live in the past and decide on my future based on a bad marriage I had. I married young and I made the wrong choice with the man I was with. I have since grown and developed as a person and realize who I want to be with in my life and what attributes my partner should possess. If I am to grow with this person, learn with this person and invest my time with him, I would like to know that he will be my husband some day.
If that is not the case, I must take a deep breath, weigh my options and move on. There is someone out there for me who feels the same way that I do. If it is not the person I am going out with at the moment, who sees no future with me except for what he wants - with no other alternatives - then I will use the relationship as a learning tool and know I will be happy in the end with another partner.
That is life, whether it is long distance or the "boy" next door. In the end, you need to know you are happy, wanted and loved unconditionally.
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